Nobody can deny the importance of sexual desire in a relationship. Apart from some unconventional, platonic romances, all relationships between two partners need to nurture sex if they are to succeed. This applies to the members of straight and gay to cougar and transgender dating scenes.

However, maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with your partner isn’t a walk in the park. In most cases, the sex drive becomes weaker over the years, intercourse happens infrequently or stops altogether, and it’s usually only one partner that initiates sex.

If this is where you’re at right now or you fear that something like this might be just around the corner, here are 6 tips on how to spark sexual desire between you and your partner.


  1. Kissing

Kissing is a very common activity between two partners, especially at the beginning of a romance. However, kissing each other has also proven to be one of the best ways to reignite that sexual flame.

A kiss has a multitude of meanings, with at least a few of them being related to sex. So, to get your partner’s attention and to send a message that you want them, it’s a good idea to kiss them more often on different parts of their body (especially the neck).


  1. Remember the Old Days

Since we’ve mentioned the pink sunglasses of those initial two or three months of the relationship and the perfect state you and your partner were at the beginning of it, we have to mention how you can use this to reignite the sex spark. For instance, you can start reminiscing of those times with your partner and watch the situation quickly becoming sexual without either of you realizing it.


  1. Mystery

The sexual desire between two partners has been known to dwindle due to the fact that you now know everything there is to know about your partner and vice versa. This means that if you were to add some mystery to your relationship yet again, you could spark that curiosity and desire that used to drive both of you into having sex with each other.


  1. Improve Your Sexuality

A lot of us will start blaming a rut or our partners for not having sex as frequently as we used to. However, a lot of those times, we are the problem because we’ve lost touch with our own sexuality.

A good way to break this would be by reading a sex novel, examining our sexual fantasies with more thought and getting to know our own body all over again. You never know what may spark that immense hunger for sex within you.


  1. Share in Good Times

It’s hard to have a strong sexual drive if you’re not in a good mood – and what better way to fix this than by increasing both your and your partner’s dopamine levels?

We suggest you do things with your partner that bring excitement and happiness to both of you, excluding sex. Pair up for a cooking class or join a book club to increase the overall mood and you’ll see how quickly you’ll both come around to sharing the bed together.


  1. Spice it Up

Although not everyone is willing to try it, bringing sex toys into the bedroom is a pretty effective way to increase the interest and desire for sex in both of you. The sheer thought of doing something unconventional and kinky in the bedroom together has proven to be one of the best ways for a couple to rekindle the flame.

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As the founder and CEO of, the Internet's oldest and most popular BDSM and alternative sexuality site, Colin Rowntree is a true pioneer of the online adult entertainment industry. Since launching in 1994, Colin has developed a network of sites that encompasses the full breadth of adult business sectors, from content production and distribution to affiliate program management, mobile content delivery to transaction processing, just to name a handful. Colin's stature within the adult industry is reflected by the many honors and recognitions he has received over the years from adult industry media outlets and trade organizations, including his 2011 induction to the Adult Video News (AVN) Hall of Fame. Colin was also the recipient of the 2011 Leadership Award from the Free Speech Coalition (FSC) and winner of multiple awards from other adult media outlets.

Most recently, Colin co-founded, a privacy-focused adult internet search engine that supports the adult industry in many ways.

An eloquent, witty and thought-provoking commentator, Colin is a frequent contributor to industry trade publications and websites, including Adult Video News and other media outlets. He has been interviewed by and featured on International Business Times, CNBC, Rolling Stone Magazine, BBC Television, the Fox Network, HBO, ABC Nightline, NewsCorp, Time and Wired magazines, and recently, Colin was awarded the 2015 Progressive Leadership of the Year XBIZ Executive Award.
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