How to give an Erotic Massage

Massage is an age-old concept of using your hands to help someone relax their muscles and nerves by applying pressure and performing certain movements. And while the basic massage concept is pretty clear, it has also evolved to have an erotic variation that can be utilized in hetero, gay, BBW, transgender and cougar dating.

But, as you can imagine, giving an erotic massage isn’t easy. It takes some skill, knowledge, and practice before you can perfect the process of being an erotic masseuse for your spouse, which is why we’re here to give you a few tips so that you can start from something.


  1. Ambiance

The first and foremost thing you have to do is set up a stage. Having the proper atmosphere is of crucial importance because you can’t really give a good massage if the surroundings don’t fit the mood properly.

Therefore, you should ensure that your partner has a comfortable place to lay on, that the light isn’t too bright in the room (nor too dimmed) and that there’s no noise around you. You can even go as far as to play some ambiance music and light a few scented candles, as all this augments the enjoyment that massage brings, especially an erotic one.


  1. Tools of the Trade

You’ll be wise to have some massage oil you can use. It’s also good to have some lubricant at hand since we’re talking about an erotic massage here.

Place the oil bottle in a cup of warm water so that you can get your hands warm as quickly as possible. The massage oil is there to make it easier for your hands to move around while also warming up your partner’s body. The lubricant is for, well, whatever comes after.


  1. Small Tricks do the Job

Now let’s talk about those small tricks all masseurs know that can make any massage feel like a walk in the clouds.

You can start things off by lightly touching your partner with dry hands. Use long, gentle strokes all across their body to prepare them for the main course. Once you feel like they’ve relaxed a bit, apply the warm massage oil we’ve mentioned earlier and begin caressing their body while still applying some dose of pressure.

Now for the erotic part. To get the full effect of the erotic massage, keep massaging your partner until you feel they have completely let go of any tension and stress. Once that happens, you can apply some lubricant to your hands and begin targeting some more erogenous zones of their body.

For instance, if you were working on their hands, back and neck in the beginning, now would be the time to focus on their chest, thighs, buttocks, lower back and stomach. As soon as you notice your partner starting to squirm around while you’re dangerously approaching their nether area, you can move on the main course.

This is where things can go in many different directions. Depending on what you and your partner prefer, you can get naked and hop on them or you can keep working on them until they reach climax. Either way, it’s a fun experience that both of you will appreciate.

For Women – Should You Be Having Sex During Period?

For about 30 or so years, you’ll get your period about once a month. An average period lasts from 3 to 8 days, and if you find yourself towards the end of this spectrum, you’re obviously wondering how much time goes to ‘waste’ when you can’t or shouldn’t have sex. The thing is, unless you’re particularly embarrassed to do it while on your period, medically speaking there is no reason why you should skip it, if you use condoms. Obviously, if cougar dating is your thing and you don’t want to scare your little cubs away, you might want to avoid the bedroom if you can leave blood on the sheets, but other than that feel free to enjoy your sex life regardless of where you are in your menstrual cycle for the reasons we discuss below.

#1: The Benefits of Having Sex While on Your Period

Orgasms can help relieve your menstrual cramps without putting you at any risk. Menstrual cramps are a result of your uterus contracting to release its lining, and when you have an orgasm, the muscles of your uterus also contract, and release. This release can reduce the discomfort of menstrual cramps. Also, during sex, we release chemicals called endorphins which make us feel better and are nature’s own anti-depressants that do wonders against feeling down when menstruating.

Having sex while on your period can make your period shorter because an orgasm helps push out the contents of your uterus faster. Also, if you’re one of those women whose libido is through the roof during your period, why let it go to waste, especially given the fact that blood acts as a natural lubricant?! Last but not least, many women who have migraines report that they get them during their periods. Although many choose to spend those days under the covers alone, women who do have sex say that it completely or partially relieves their headaches.

#2: The Side Effects of Having Sex While on Your Period

The biggest side effect of having sex while menstruating is the mess. You can leave blood all over the sheets or your partner if you have a heavier flow, and anxiety or embracement over this can take away some of the fun. Also, you’re advised to always use protection when having sex, and being on your period doesn’t change anything in that department. On the contrary, unprotected sex increases the risk of transmitting STDs, especially those viruses that live in the blood, such as HIV or hepatitis, which is why using a condom during this time is a no-brainer. Lastly, forgetting to remove your tampon results in a visit to a doctor because it will get pushed so far up that you won’t be able to remove it yourself. In other words, don’t forget it!

Can You Still Get Pregnant?

To some women, getting pregnant isn’t a side effect, but if you’re not actively trying to conceive you should use protection because there is still a chance you could get pregnant if you have sex while menstruating. Obviously, the odds of conception are lower, but if your menstrual cycles are short those odds actually increase. Since this isn’t the kind of math you could ever do with absolute certainty, it’s best not to have unprotected sex and have your peace of mind.

Is It Normal to Masturbate Every Day?

Sex can take many different forms, from straight man-on-woman in the missionary pose to hookups found on BBW and transgender dating sites that turn into full-blown BDSM sessions. Still, there is something that we all share, that everybody partakes in and that has been around since the beginning of mankind – masturbation.

Although it’s a common part of everyone’s life (whether you want to admit it or not), there are certain people out there that will tell you it’s not okay and not healthy to masturbate at all. And while that’s completely bogus, let’s take a look at the idea of day-to-day masturbation and whether it has any negative effects on your life.

Benefits and Advantages

First and foremost, let’s assess this situation from a physical point of view. Masturbating every day may seem like a tedious task to some, but if you ask those who do practice it,  you’ll notice that they don’t feel like they have an obligation or chore that they have to fulfill daily.

It’s very well documented that masturbation is healthy for both men and women. Physically, it helps keep our reproduction organs healthy, in good shape and always ready for action, and psychologically, it’s a pretty good way to relieve stress and figure out your own sexuality.

Many sex experts out there say that solo time is a crucial part of any relationship. This is mostly because it’s a perfect way for you to learn about your body, your erogenous zones, what turns you on the most and so on, which can later be applied to having sexy time with your partner.

Going Overboard

So far, we couldn’t find any downsides to masturbation, at least in the psychological and physical sense. The only problem that may come from it is actually caused by ourselves – or rather how we implement masturbation into our everyday lives.

Medically, there’s absolutely nothing wrong and there are no risks posed by day-to-day masturbation. However, if you can’t properly introduce this wonderful activity into your daily schedule, you may run into some problems in other fields.

A good example of this would be running late for work because you simply had to masturbate right this moment. Another scenario would be actively avoiding sex with your partner because going downtown by yourself feels so good.

Bottom line, it’s all about the way we handle it. Too much of anything is never good, but in this case, it’s not because of the nature of masturbation.

There are a lot of people out there (especially men) that have masturbation sessions every day or at least almost every day and they can function just like any other human out there. If you can find a way to insert masturbation into your everyday life so that it doesn’t come into conflict with your other activities or duties, then by all means – go for it.

Spontaneous Orgasms – The Weirdest Places Women Have Them.

Orgasms are, by far, the most important part of any sexual experience. What’s the point of doing anything sexual if an orgasm isn’t waiting for you at the end of the road, right? While some people easily achieve climax, others have to go as far as checking gay and transgender dating sites for inspiration.

But aside from all that, there are rare situations in which an orgasm comes pretty much by itself, without any intentional stimulation. That said, let’s take a look at the weirdest places where people have reported to have a spontaneous orgasm.


  1. Spin Class/Gym

Most people that go to the gym usually don’t get to enjoy anything before their training sessions are over. Working out is hard and can be pretty boring – unless you’re one of those women that have a spontaneous orgasm at the gym.

There are two situations where this can happen: during spin class and while performing ab exercises. The former can be easily explained by the fact that ladies are required to occasionally jump up and then sit down on a phallic-looking seat during their class, while intense ab workouts can cause a “coregasm” if the girl needs to strain herself a lot continuously.


  1. Giving Birth

We don’t know whether to be freaked out or glad that an orgasm is something that can happen during childbirth. It’s rare, but not impossible for a woman to experience a spontaneous orgasm during labor.

If you sit down to think about it, it’s not that illogical. Giving birth to a baby can stimulate a lot of parts that would otherwise be stimulated while trying to reach an orgasm. Reportedly, it eases the pains of childbirth.


  1. Rollercoasters

Who says that rollercoasters are just for raising one’s adrenaline? As it turns out, riding one of these bad boys at neck-break speeds can lead some ladies to experience much more than a cheap thrill.

Not everyone buys it, but numerous women have reported that they either had a full-blown orgasm or came close to one due to the intense vibrations and excitement created by a rollercoaster ride. The lines may be long and the ticket might be expensive, but this has proven to be one of the weirdest places to have a spontaneous orgasm.


  1. Anywhere (while Yawning)

The yawn-induced spontaneous orgasm is probably the weirdest one, too. For starters, you need to be hopped up on clomipramine, which as an anti-depressant prescribed only to certain patients. Secondly, you have to be among the 5% of the drug’s users that experience the side effect of orgasm every time they yawn.

That’s right – according to the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, the side effect of yawn-induced orgasms in clomipramine users was confirmed way back in 1995. However, another side effect is having a hard time reaching orgasm in normal ways.

6 Ways to Spark Sexual Desire

Nobody can deny the importance of sexual desire in a relationship. Apart from some unconventional, platonic romances, all relationships between two partners need to nurture sex if they are to succeed. This applies to the members of straight and gay to cougar and transgender dating scenes.

However, maintaining a healthy sexual relationship with your partner isn’t a walk in the park. In most cases, the sex drive becomes weaker over the years, intercourse happens infrequently or stops altogether, and it’s usually only one partner that initiates sex.

If this is where you’re at right now or you fear that something like this might be just around the corner, here are 6 tips on how to spark sexual desire between you and your partner.


  1. Kissing

Kissing is a very common activity between two partners, especially at the beginning of a romance. However, kissing each other has also proven to be one of the best ways to reignite that sexual flame.

A kiss has a multitude of meanings, with at least a few of them being related to sex. So, to get your partner’s attention and to send a message that you want them, it’s a good idea to kiss them more often on different parts of their body (especially the neck).


  1. Remember the Old Days

Since we’ve mentioned the pink sunglasses of those initial two or three months of the relationship and the perfect state you and your partner were at the beginning of it, we have to mention how you can use this to reignite the sex spark. For instance, you can start reminiscing of those times with your partner and watch the situation quickly becoming sexual without either of you realizing it.


  1. Mystery

The sexual desire between two partners has been known to dwindle due to the fact that you now know everything there is to know about your partner and vice versa. This means that if you were to add some mystery to your relationship yet again, you could spark that curiosity and desire that used to drive both of you into having sex with each other.


  1. Improve Your Sexuality

A lot of us will start blaming a rut or our partners for not having sex as frequently as we used to. However, a lot of those times, we are the problem because we’ve lost touch with our own sexuality.

A good way to break this would be by reading a sex novel, examining our sexual fantasies with more thought and getting to know our own body all over again. You never know what may spark that immense hunger for sex within you.


  1. Share in Good Times

It’s hard to have a strong sexual drive if you’re not in a good mood – and what better way to fix this than by increasing both your and your partner’s dopamine levels?

We suggest you do things with your partner that bring excitement and happiness to both of you, excluding sex. Pair up for a cooking class or join a book club to increase the overall mood and you’ll see how quickly you’ll both come around to sharing the bed together.


  1. Spice it Up

Although not everyone is willing to try it, bringing sex toys into the bedroom is a pretty effective way to increase the interest and desire for sex in both of you. The sheer thought of doing something unconventional and kinky in the bedroom together has proven to be one of the best ways for a couple to rekindle the flame.

3 Things You Didn’t Know About Female Sexuality

Female sexuality is nowhere near as explored as male sexuality in many parts of the world. Only recently have we started openly talking about it and embracing it as something worthy of everyone’s attention. Our mothers and their mothers before them would have children and mostly forget that they were women too, but this has changed tremendously as evident from all the books, articles, movies, talk shows, and any other form of media or communication supporting women to learn to love their bodies again after the babies come. Still, this is an unexplored territory for many men out there, even those who’re into cougar dating and have women by their side who are very much in tune with their sexuality. That’s why we’re like to talk about the 3 things that still elude the opposite sex when it comes to how women perceive and experience sex.

#1: The Sexiest Male Organ

You’ve probably explored the clitoris to no end (do it if you haven’t!), but there is much more to female sexuality than their sex organs. For instance, physical attraction and thus a physical pleasure for women is based on so much more than a guy’s looks. Many men out there still aren’t sure what women find to be the sexiest male organ. Without a doubt, most women think the brain is the single most appealing part of any man. The reason for this is quite simple – women don’t fall for the physical appearance as much as they fall for a guy’s intellectual abilities, sense of humor, and interesting life story. Obviously, nobody is denying the power of chemistry, but for women, this chemistry is the strongest with someone they like as a person, not with someone who looks like a living and breathing embodiment of Tom Hardy sitting 3 feet away. The more women like a guy for his personality, the stronger their physical pleasure will be.

#2: Women Choose Differently

Male and female sexuality are different primarily because male and female reproductive cycles are worlds apart. While an average male can have thousands upon thousands of kids in his lifetime in theory, an average woman can only have one child every nine months for a period of about 30 years. In other words, sperm is cheap. It’s everywhere and readily available, and men don’t care very much as to how they ‘invest’ their sex cells because they have plenty! Furthermore, they find young and pretty girls the most attractive because they are healthy and fertile.

For women, the process of choosing a partner is about a million times more complicated because their sex cells aren’t cheap at all. What women want is to feel safe and taken care of in the arms of their partners, which is why they’re often attracted to rich and powerful men. They need this security to ensure their sex cells don’t go to waste. As you can see, men’s looks have very little to do with it. In the real world, a guy who isn’t rich can get the hottest girl in the room, but he has to make her feel like he can provide everything she needs. Plus, if he’s smart and has a good sense of humor – in her eyes he’s the sexiest man alive and her pleasure is all but guaranteed!

#3: It’s Better to be a Woman

Just because the topic of female sexuality isn’t as widely talked about doesn’t mean that men know better sex than women. On the contrary! Consider this. All babies have the exact same genital tissue when they’re conceived, and at about 12 weeks each baby’s genitals begin to develop into those of a man or a woman. This means we’re much more alike than we are different in terms of our sex organs, or in other words, the clitoris and the penis are the same materials put together in a different way. The clitoris has glans, a foreskin, erectile tissue, and a very small shaft – just like a penis. Obviously, it swells when it’s aroused.

Now consider this. A clitoral orgasm can result in anywhere between 3 and 16 contractions and can last from 10 seconds to 30 seconds. Research suggests that an average clitoral orgasm lasts longer than the best and most fantastic male orgasm. And this doesn’t even include the fact that women can have pelvic contractions too – or multiple orgasms. Sorry, guys.