When you’ve been with someone long enough to know what they’re thinking before they even open their mouth, seduction in the bedroom becomes more challenging than acing a performance review with the strictest possible manager in the company. Back in the day when BBW dating was the main thing occupying your thoughts, seducing someone to the point where they beg for mercy seemed like a piece of cake, but unfortunately no more. Below, we discuss the top 5 things you need to implement into your relationship to ensure you or your partner don’t grow cold.

#1: Put Your Phone Down and Talk Face to Face

With so many apps offering to connect us with all sorts of people, even our friends or romantic interests who live a few blocks away, having a real intellectual conversation face to face is a dying art. Talking about your thoughts, beliefs, hopes, and fears and genuinely listening to the other person deepens intimacy and heightens chemistry. Even men who are notoriously visual creatures crave to connect with someone on an emotional level as well. Shared interests and stimulating conversations take our physical attraction to a whole new level where we develop the kind of intimacy that makes our life fulfilling, including our sex life.

#2:  Don’t Show You’re Intimidated

Showing that you’re intimidated either by your partner or by another man or woman in their life puts an emphasis on your insecurities, which is everything but sexy. If you want to keep the upper hand in the game of seduction, you have to show an incredibly high level of self-confidence in and around the bedroom. Take initiative with your partner, surprise them with a hot night in you’ve planned for them, whisper dirty profanities into their ear, and check your inhibitions at the door. If you’re intimidated by another person, hit the gym, buy yourself some sexy lingerie, get your hair done, and pretty much do anything that needs to be done to boost your self-confidence.

#3: Work on Your Sense of Humor

Just like the most popular person among your friends is the one that makes everyone laugh, the same principle applies to love as well. The person who’s the life of the party gets all the attention, and can’t fend off potential suitors fast enough. People who know how to have fun are magnetic, and if you’re struggling to keep your lover interested, or want to seduce someone, amp up your wit and definitely flash a few more smiles. Laughing doesn’t only create an emotional bond with someone, but it is a well-known aphrodisiac as well.

#4:  Keep Your Lover Guessing

Everyone likes a tease every once in a while, and variety is definitely the spice of all mind-blowing sex. Withholding sex can lead to either you, your partner or both of you losing interest, damaging your intimacy you’ve worked so hard to create, and in more extreme cases cheating. On the other hand, a small amount of teasing and rejection can be a huge turn-on in a relationship. This is definitely a manipulative tactic, but it will keep your partner insanely hot for you. Leave your lover wanting more, follow-up during the day with sexy texts or photos, and he or she won’t be able to keep their hands off you the next time you’re alone.

#5: Too Much Comfort is the Enemy

Despite the fact that we all want someone to share everything with, being too comfortable around someone definitely kills the spark. It’s perfectly OK to be comfortable enough with your partner to do anything together, but allowing this comfort to result in mundane days and nights spent with one another is not. Create special moments, go out to a place neither of you has ever been to, visit a cool new city, take a class together, whatever! Keep learning, growing, and sharing new experiences to avoid the rut many couples seem to fall into and keep things fresh and spicy.


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As the founder and CEO of Wasteland.com, the Internet's oldest and most popular BDSM and alternative sexuality site, Colin Rowntree is a true pioneer of the online adult entertainment industry. Since launching Wasteland.com in 1994, Colin has developed a network of sites that encompasses the full breadth of adult business sectors, from content production and distribution to affiliate program management, mobile content delivery to transaction processing, just to name a handful. Colin's stature within the adult industry is reflected by the many honors and recognitions he has received over the years from adult industry media outlets and trade organizations, including his 2011 induction to the Adult Video News (AVN) Hall of Fame. Colin was also the recipient of the 2011 Leadership Award from the Free Speech Coalition (FSC) and winner of multiple awards from other adult media outlets.

Most recently, Colin co-founded Boodigo.com, a privacy-focused adult internet search engine that supports the adult industry in many ways.

An eloquent, witty and thought-provoking commentator, Colin is a frequent contributor to industry trade publications and websites, including Adult Video News and other media outlets. He has been interviewed by and featured on International Business Times, CNBC, Rolling Stone Magazine, BBC Television, the Fox Network, HBO, ABC Nightline, NewsCorp, Time and Wired magazines, Cnet.com and Bnet.com.Most recently, Colin was awarded the 2015 Progressive Leadership of the Year XBIZ Executive Award.
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