Taking your clothes off and looking yourself in the mirror surrounded by cribs, strollers, diapers, and dark circles around your eyes is a challenge most new moms face. Sure, you’re no longer in the dating pool and don’t have to worry about looking your best at all times now that you’ve settled down and started a family, but there is no doubt that you’ll miss your pre-baby, BBW dating body at some point. The important thing to remember is that you need to forgive yourself for all the changes you’re going through, and to acknowledge them in a constructive and positive way. Below, we’ve got 5 tips on how to feel better about your body in the early months after delivery.

#1: Get Back to the Gym

The single most effective tip anyone can give you about feeling sexy again after pregnancy is getting back to the gym. Not only will you tone your muscles and undeniably look leaner and sexier, but you will also feel better about yourself, making it easier to stand naked in front of your partner again. Pregnancy inevitably changes a woman’s body and exercising afterward might not be the same as before, which is why you absolutely need to talk to your doctor about the type and intensity of workout that would be right for you. You’ll help both your body recuperate and your self-confidence reach levels high enough where you won’t blame yourself for the changes.

#2: Book a Massage

Your in-laws have been begging you to let them babysit for an afternoon? Let them. Do this for several reasons: first, you need to make time for yourself again; second, you need to rest mentally and physically from all those sleepless nights, stress and worry, and third, your baby will bond with his or her grandparents. A massage is a great way to use that time and remind yourself that you’re not just a mom. You’re still a woman and someone’s significant other, and you need to nurture every role you have in your life to really feel fulfilled and content.

#3: Buy Something Sexy

Buy sexy lingerie even if you don’t wear it. For the first several months of your baby’s life, you’re lucky to get a shower in, let alone set the mood and put on a sexy bra and panties to seduce your partner. But regardless, if you see something you like – splurge on it. It could be a dress or a silk robe, and even if you can’t imagine when you’ll get a chance to wear it again, seeing it hang in your closet will have a positive effect on your self-image.

#4: Reconnect With Your Pleasure Points

Experts suggest masturbation to reconnect with or discover your pleasure points after you’ve had a baby. Even if you wouldn’t think to touch yourself or can’t remember the last time you did it, it’s important to understand what gets you going and see what gets the fire back. By reconnecting with your body, you’ll feel more confident in your own skin, and will be a good guide to your partner in helping them navigate your body again.

#5: Don’t Go Straight to Intercourse

Going straight to intercourse is an intimacy issue as well. It’s likely been months since you and your partner last had sex, and your focus has been on your pregnancy and on the baby, with your sex life taking a back seat. Take the time to work on getting that intimacy back pretty much in the same way before you and your partner first slept together. Make out, cuddle naked together, and touch each other before having sex. Rebuild your intimacy, trust the process, don’t rush anything, and you’ll be back in the saddle in no time.