How to Get Over Anxiety about First-Time Hookups?

Hooking up has been around since the dawn of civilization. It started as casual orgies on rich people’s parties, it maintained itself through the Renaissance, and it has ultimately become something of an everyday thing that can be found in a local club or on a transgender dating site.

Still, not all of us are outgoing enough so that we have no issue approaching someone or being approached for casual sex. In that regard, here are a couple of pro tips on how to get over anxiety about first-time hookups.

  1. Don’t Pressure Yourself

The main reason why people get the hookup jitters is that they force themselves into believing that they have to perform extraordinarily or that something crucial is riding on this hookup (pun intended).

However, in reality, there’s nothing special about hooking up. Admittedly, we could say that having casual sex with someone you’ve just met is healthy every now and again – for psychological and physical reasons, of course – but there are no real dangerous consequences to safe, casual sex.


  1. Don’t Overthink It

Another big reason why you might be getting that casual sex anxiety might be because you’re overthinking things. By doing this, you’re going back to step one, where you’re pressuring yourself again just because you can’t help but imagine every possible (and impossible) scenario that may or may not unfold during and after your hookup.

Remember that, after all, it is casual sex. Instead of planning or trying to predict possible outcomes of a hookup, just go in cool-headed and relaxed – no matter what happens, you still had sex with someone.


  1. Be in the Moment

Once again, we have to note that overthinking about hooking up with someone is wrong. The best alternative to this is to live in the moment since that’s pretty much the definition of casual sex.

Hookups are all about being with someone for a very brief period after which neither of you is required to meet ever again. This is literally the bluntest form of “being in the moment,” and it’s an excellent method of killing any hookup jitters that you might be having.

This way, you won’t be burdening yourself with various trivial things that have little or nothing to do with the actual act of hooking up with a stranger. Instead, you’ll be enjoying every moment of it – from that first couple of messages you exchange with your partner-in-crime, the sexual act itself to the part where you don’t have to contact them afterward, leaving you satisfied and with no strings attached.


  1. Talk

It might sound counterintuitive, but talking to the person you’re hooking up with about the process you’re going through with them and even about your anxiety will most likely alleviate most of the stress that you might be feeling.

This is, hardships are always more bearable when shared with others. If you do this, it may even turn out that the other person is even more nervous than you, which usually leads to sweet and hot sex.


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Lynsey G’s Acclaimed Memoir “Watching Porn” Now Available in Paperback  

‘Buzzworthy’ Book Reveals Ins & Outs of Pornography Biz in Eye-Popping Detail

(New York, NY / June 14, 2018) – Watching Porn: And Other Confessions of an Adult Entertainment Journalist, the critically-acclaimed memoir from author, critic and filmmaker Lynsey G, is set for an official paperback release June 26.

Lynsey G, the former Editor-in-Chief of adult industry magazine WHACK! and Feminist Porn Award-winning director, has gathered her indelible experiences and unexpected adventures into an astonishing story that grabs readers and takes them on for the ride.

“Pornography may not really be that exotic or that cool, but it is just as interesting as I hoped it would be,” Lynsey G writes when recalling a career in the industry. “It has no agreed-upon leader, no formalized code of conduct, no entrance exam or standard for advancement. The only rule, really, is to follow the money in as safe a way as possible.”

Lynsey G’s colorful account of the porn world earned the book, published by the Overlook Press, a spot on Chicago Reader’s list of ‘Most Anticipated Books of 2017’,Huffington Post’s ‘10 Buzzworthy Books from Memoirists and Essayists’ and lauded byKirkus Reviews as ‘thought-provoking… a cleverly seductive, straightforward, unapologetically carnal chronicle of an unconventional working life.’

Watching Porn also recently won the gold medal in the Sexuality/Relationships category at this year’s Independent Book Publishers Awards (IPPYs).

The author’s work, with a particular focus on the intersection of pornography, feminism and sexuality, has appeared in publications such as Rolling Stone, Glamour, Playboy, Allure, Men’s Health, Refinery29, MEL, BUST, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and Bitch magazine. The self-described ‘renaissance woman’ continues to express her ideas and thoughts as a reviewer, interviewer, critic, documentary filmmaker and blogger in multiple genres and areas of interest.

Watching Porn is currently available in hardcover at most North American booksellers, both brick-and-mortar and online, including such quality retailers as Barnes & Noble,AmazonIndieBoundPowell’sThe Strand and Shakespeare & Co.

For more information, contact Lynsey G. directly at
Lynsey G Porn

Lynsey G started writing young and never stopped. Her primary focus for the past decade has been in the congruent corners of pornography, gender and feminism. As a DVD reviewer and set copywriter for numerous adult magazines, she got an eyeful of smut and a mind full of questions, which she parlayed into a column about pornography at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. She then spent three years as the editor-in-chief of the online adult industry magazine WHACK! where, under the name Miss Lagsalot, she conducted dozens of interviews with adult stars and wrote her sparkly little heart out.

She also created four short films for a solo art exhibition at apexart in New York City, and won a 2013 Feminist Porn Award for one of those films. She has published journalism, personal essays, fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry in numerous places in print and online, including Rolling Stone, Glamour, Playboy, Allure, Men’s Health, MEL Magazine, Bitch Magazine, BUST, Refinery29, and elsewhere.

After many years of doing daily battle with the New York City subway system, she now resides in Missoula, Montana, where she is the co-founder of indie comics and graphic novel publishing company Oneshi Press. For more information, visit,, or